Log in

No account? Create an account

Next 10

Mar. 29th, 2007

Samantha teal

ok Im gonna use this as a real journal for once lol

ok here it goes....

wow where do I begin I was reading my poems and thinking of my son I lost which I do quite often actually more like every second of the day and I just cant seem to understand it! I still feel so numb from it (it happened December 6th 2006 might be 3 months but to me it still seems like yesterday!) and its almost as if I am alone in wanting him back whenever I talk about him I get snubbed Ive had his death thrown in my face is it so wrong to want to remember a child that is lost am I the only one out there who just refuses not to let go I mean this is really new to me Ive never gone through or imagined I would go through something of this nature but its really starting to bother me the last couple weeks now I havent been sleeping or eating right now I have my monthly so its another REALITY CHECK I just feel so alone and confused and I want to hide it from people but its starting to wear on me maybe I should show up one day at the support group they keep mailing me from the hospital but its like I dont even want to drive by that hospital ever again let alone go have a session in there LOL they might have to contain me there hehe I dunno Im just up late again and thinking about how much I lost and just feeling empty tonight ~sigh~ ok I did it I finally talked about myself for once and got something I HAVE BEEN DYING TO SAY well WRITE but good enough lol for a long time... anywayz thanks for listening Im done now.

Gosh its almost like I feel wrong or guilty for wanting to talk about him is this normal or am I going crazy ladies?!?!?!

Samantha teal


Mar. 28th, 2007

Samantha teal

oh my

I just deleted a comment off my page sorry I didnt mean it ! LOL DOH~
Samantha teal


Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates.

Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes.

Hearts break. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.

BUT - Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you, or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, mothers, grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended family all bless our life.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead, nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still.

Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did.

There are more than 20 angels in this world; 10 are peacefully sleeping on clouds, nine are playing, and one is reading her email at this moment!
Samantha teal


Well I dunno today is a slow day for me I felt as if I was just real tired all day and come to find a little suprise later in the day my monthly decided to visit me :~( Ughhhhh so Im bored today cant think straight and have no energy anything else new lol

well thats my post for today!
Samantha teal


HAHA I took a brake from LJ for a bit my brain was getting fried but Im back and as usual its 2 am I am awake and bored as hell I swear I need to just take up a 3rd shift job so I am doing something at least productive lol instead of filling out for free samples on the net hahaha anyway just bored and my page needed a post :~) I have lots of new friends now and I wanted to say WELCOME to you all I look foward to having good friendships develop from this site my sister uses LJ and has met some GREAT people from here and Ive met them and they are all awesome so I gave in and said what the heck I might as well jump on the band wagon to lol I have no friends with kids so hopefully this is a good way to meet some mommies and have some play groups set up or something like that I know Id like my kids to interact with other children and right now we have none around us :~( so tis why I am here ANYWAY Look foward to chatting with each and everyone of you and thank you for adding me as a friend!!

If you click on this picture its real nice :~) and you can read it allot better thanks :~)

Mar. 24th, 2007

Samantha teal


I am having a hell of a time setting up a community profile I cant even find a place in searches where they have codes for it so I dont understand how everyone else has these fancy profiles and mine sucks ughhhh

And how come when I do a community search I DONT see mine ?



Mar. 22nd, 2007

Samantha teal

Baby Angel!

Mommies little Angel!!!

2 little hands – that will never grip

2 little legs that no longer kick

A delicate face that will never cry

And tiny hands that can’t wave goodbye

2 precious feet that will never walk

Soft, blue lips that will never talk

But a beautiful soul that has gone up above

And left me with feelings and memories of love

----00 o 00----

And this is what I read to him at his funeral...

My silent child
our precious baby.
Close to my heart,
I'll keep you with me.
An Important job
God has for you.

He needs an angel
strong but small,
to shine light on many
and give love to all.
Before you go I give you this,
All my heart and one last kiss.

We will miss you dearly,
that we know.
But by God you were chosen,
so to heaven you must go.

"God, I miss my baby :~( and why do people make you feel wrong for wanting to remember a blessing you lost"

My tiny little baby, at home where you belong

I wished you could’ve been with me, too many things were wrong

I will hold you near my heart, where you will always be

But now I have to let you go - your spirit can be free

Not sorrow when I say your name, but happy thoughts and joy

‘Cause in my heart you’ll always be my special little boy


Perfect Even In Death

No one remembers,
I cannot say why
Only thing I keep thinking
Is that nobody tried

You were mine, only mine
No one knew you like me
I don't know why He couldn't
Just let you be

We shared so much
In our short time together,
And the time that we shared
Has made memories forever

So much I learned,
So much I lost -
Everything turned, toppled
And tossed

Butterfly flutters, then turns
And kicks . . .
Then, that sad day . . .
Was my mind playing tricks?

No cry, no movement,
not even a Breath . . .
As you lay on my tummy -
Perfect even in death

When I think of you now
At the age you would be,
A beautiful "big boy"
Is the child I see

My son you were,
My son you'll always be
And One -
That is us;
You and Me
Samantha teal


What We Believe
By Catherine Pulsifer, © 1998

As you were growing up, you may have been told over and over that you were good at doing something. You believed it.

Similarly, if you constantly tell people they are doing a good job, they will eventually believe it even if, in the beginning, they have doubts about their ability. In essence, we become what we believe.

If you find that you are doubting yourself, stop and reflect on all your past achievements. Be confident about yourself. Don't let other people erode your confidence. Successful people know that the greater their self-confidence, the greater their achievements.

Don't feed your mind with negative thoughts. If you do, you will come to believe them. The secret to self-confidence is to feed your mind with positive thoughts, and surround yourself with people who give you positive support!

To quote Buddha,

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
The mind is everything.
What we think, we become."

Samantha teal

WOW this is so true!!

Next 10